As Marshall was talking about his epiphany in class, I had my own. I am truly embarrassed to say this, but I really haven't thought much about the war since it started, when I was in eighth grade. I remember being very worried about our country going to war, and how it would affect us as a society. I actually recall panicking because I was concerned about my family members being drafted (if for some reason it was re-instated). Seeing people crash into the two towers as a 12-year-old was at the least, disturbing. I couldn't believe there was such anti-Americanism in the world. I would read the Post Register everyday to learn of the updates in Iraq. They had a great front page section everyday for like a year, and now there's next to nothing but a few AP stories now and again. Why I am less engaged as a college student than as an eighth grader? I don't know why I haven't woken up everyday to the thought that, "Holy Crap, my country is at war!" But many people woke up with this thought in their mind everyday during the Vietnam War, Korean War and WWII. Why not me?
After analyzing myself last night, I realized I am not informed because I am indifferent. I am not informed because I am lost and confused as hell about what's really going on there. It seems so ominous, just a big looming ball of complexity, politics and censored journalism. I was even more upset after Marshall told us his first-hand account of being on both sides of the spectrum, and seeing how confused people were. I guess I just don't know where to start, or who to believe, as Adam explained in his blog, http://mediaethics-usu.blogspot.com/2009/04/wartime-correspondent.html. I have always thought that something needed to be done to remedy the situation, but I just don't know if war is the answer or not. Does anyone seem to know?
After my realization of my ignorance on the Iraq War, I asked myself what my opinion on the issue is, and I honestly didn't know. I am not anti-war and I am not pro-war, essentially because I don't know what is really going on. It was clear Marshall was anti-war, and he was informed properly, but he also said he had friends with first-hand accounts who were pro-war. So what should I think? When Marshall said he was most concerned about the public being an ill-informed democracy who couldn't really make honest decisions and opinions about the war. This resonated deep within me. That's what I am, an ill-informed citizen who just doesn't know where to look for answers, certainly not the American news. And I realized that this is what I am most angry about--that the press and other mediums aren't fulfilling their role as educators on the war because as Marshall said, the system has been set up for them to fail.
Today, I am still not anti nor pro-war because I just don't know. However, I am pro-free speech and investigative journalism of the war. I understand people may not want the overly sensatious scenes of the war, as Diane said in her post, http://mediaethics-usu.blogspot.com/2009/04/journalism-and-war.html. I also understand issues of national security. But I am in complete darkness on the reality of the Iraq War, and I am so mad about it. I feel I can't vote, form opinions or even debate about the issue because I am so ignorant. Now I find myself asking how many other Americans, including journalists and politicians are in the same boat, and now I am more than concerned. The only thing I know now is that free-speech is needed. The Founding Fathers wrote the First Amendment for a reason, to prevent this!!!! The product of me!!! An uniformed citizen who is clueless, and who doesn't challenge or support what's going on.........I just exist in darkness.